Duskri123 Pursued by CareMarie

Author Name: duskri123
Stories: French Trilogy (Devine, Respirer and Amour), Someday, Up All Night and collaborating with VSPS on Corruption of Destruction. There were more, such as Living With Your Lies but I had pulled them a while ago for editing and additives. I have yet to find the time to do so unfortunately.

CareMarie: Tell us a little bit about yourself:
Duskri123: Hmm. I've never been good at this ha. I'm a bit harsh and honest but it's getting better. I have the mouth of a sailor and it's not pleasant at the best of times. I'm twenty one. Live in Canada. Mother of one ten month old son named Rohan, (pronounced 'Rowin'). Reading and writing is nothing more than an escape for me when RL is being difficult. It is most certainly a personal therapy for me. So for all those who were wondering how I could push out a chapter a day when writing the Trilogy, shit was tough ;).

CareMarie: How did you get introduced into Fan Fiction?
Duskri123: Actually, and truthfully, I googled the word 'Twilight' and fanfiction.net was one of the things that came up in the search. That was what got me to the site surprisingly. None of my friends or family outside the fandom are interested in the Twilight Saga so I had no one else’s opinions but my own to go on.

CareMarie: When you write, what kind of environment do you like to be in?
Duskri123: I like quiet, dark and nothingness to be honest. I like to think and feel what I’m writing. Usually if my story gets darker and harsher, it’s ‘cause I’m going through a tough time too or I’m thinking back to a tougher time in my life. I need privacy to write so I can create a genuine break down within the story. Usually my hubby will find me in the bathroom with the door locked in a hot bath, windows opened wide with a smoke in my hand while I type away on my laptop. That’s my personal time, my therapy and I can‘t do it when there are ten other people around. Which is one of the reasons my updates are less frequent right now.


CareMarie: How do you get your inspiration for your Jasper and Bella stories, such as adding Emmett in with the Trilogy? (From @mamacoleman)
Duskri123: Devine was originally one story in it’s own. There would have been no sequel, and then no third installment. The idea honestly just came to me when I wrote the chapter where Bella attacks Emmett for the first time after her change and he follows her to apologize. I wondered what would happen that no really knew about. What could be said or what could be the consequences? The rest grew from there. It was different and unique but I knew some would not be impressed with the idea but I figured some just needed a new experience. I’m happy I followed through with it. It gave me inspiration for possible future stories.

As for my others… well those ideas just come and I write out a couple chapters before sending them away for pre-reading to see if it will go any where.

CareMarie: How did you deal with some of the negative feedback that you received from some of your reviewers/readers during the Trilogy? (From @mamacoleman)
Duskri123: Wow. Well, go through and read some of my shot backs with the AN’s. I’m sure some of the more ignorant reviews got a personal reply from me especially that they didn‘t enjoy. I discussed a lot with my pre-reader on face book but really the Trilogy taught me how to deal with negative feedback because the first couple of times, I didn’t deal with it well at all. I expected people to be mad about Emmett, I expected some mothers to be hurt by Bella killing the child but I didn’t appreciate the attacks on me at all. It’s a story. They’re vampires. If you don’t like what I write, fuck off and read something else. That’s kind of the view I had, only I just outright said it basically. Now I just ignore it. Its better and easier for me to deal. I know people aren’t going to be impressed with the way I do things or how I write. I don’t guarantee the happy little Cullen family or the perfect love they all expect. I’ll give you brutality, heart break and reality. If you don’t like it, go read something with a tamer rating and less detailed emotion. I don’t care. That’s how I see it now, though I keep my opinions to myself and refuse to reply.

CareMarie:Do you remember the first story you read?
Duskri123: Ha, ;) No. Well Maybe. It was an Edward and Bella *ducks for shelter* story I know that. Isle Esme I believe. One of the first series I read that really sticks with me is 'The Seven Deadly Sins'. By far some of the best J/B I ever read back then. Some of the original J/B writers were excellent too, and it certainly had it's own effect in my mind on what I wanted to write in the future.

CareMarie: Is there a story behind your pen name?
Duskri123: Yes and I might be jumping for joy right now that you asked me this because no one has ever asked me that question and it always cracks me up that no one was curious enough. duskri. I actually spell it like that because I think with caps it looks awkward but it is a noun and capitalize it away if you would like. The 'dus' is for Dustin and the 'kri' is for Kristen. It is my hubby's and my name put together. I use it for several things actually. The 123 was just funny 'cause it rhymed.

CareMarie: What story (ies) are you reading right now?
Duskri123: Oh.. *rubs hands together and smiles* Conversations With My Killer by Oracle Vas (but who isn't? Her Jasper fits perfectly into what I love to read) Distant Starlight by ClandestinePen (she writes a softer version of Jasper that has me 'awing' every five freaking minutes 'cause a lot of us Jasper writers have lost sight on his softer, more loving sides) Be Careful What You Wish For by VSPS (I pre read for her but still stop to go back and reread and review every time she updates. I love her humour) Bourbon and Tea by Zigster. And Golden Gloves by TheFaintHeart (love her AH boxer versions of Jasper and Bella).

I'm sure there are more I'm currently reading, in fact I know there are but I've left a lot of them on alert to become completed before I continue. If I get to reading too many, it affects my own writing and that's not at all what I want but when those fics above update, I do a little happy dance, make a happy noise and drop everything to read.

CareMarie: Do you have a favorite character and if so, why that character?
Duskri123: Dare I say it... I know everyone THINKS I prefer Jasper above all else but that would be false. Yes, I do love me some Jasper just as much as the next Jazz lover but he is not my favorite. Jasper is an easy character for me to write. Lets just chalk it up to me being able to relate to the tendencies I write him to have (ignorant, blunt, scarred, ect), I can make him more real that way.

My favorite character is Emmett. *Shock and Gasp* Yeah, I know. But honestly, for those who read Respirer and Amour, that should not come as a surprise. I love to take his character, warp the sense and strength SM gave him to turn it into something far better and more intriguing. I hope I turned some Emmett haters into lovers with the Trilogy 'cause that was only one of my goals. I HATE, absolutely loath it when people make him out to be nothing more than simple and a sex fiend. It kills me every time. I find Emmett a harder character to write because of that stigma, but I love the challenge and there may be another Em/B story in my future yet.

--Stories--

CareMarie: First off, tell us a little bit about your stories:
Duskri123: Wow. Um.
Lets just start with ‘Someday’. My Jasper and Bella fic that I dedicated to VSPS is by far one of my favorite fics in my list and has received a response I did not expect and for which I am grateful. I could give you the ’norm’ summary but I’ll do it a bit different this time. It started out with me and VSPS on AOL chat. I asked her to give me a title, she gave one and I had no idea what to do with it, so I took that work, incorporated it into something I thought would catch attention and there was born the summary. Someday was never plotted and still isn’t. I just can’t seem to write that way, I write on the fly for whichever stories character’s speak to me the loudest. I know when, where and how Someday will end up. How everyone gets there is still banging around in my head and I just need to put it to paper.

‘Up All Night’ is my first Jasper and Bella All Human fic. I was terrified to start it but it kept poking at me and I couldn’t seem to write anything for Someday or anything else because of it. I sat down and pounded out the first chapter within a couple hours. Up All Night is also the first story I have EVER plotted (besides Corruption of Destruction but VSPS works on that plot and I write it out). TheFaintHeart -who is also my beta- pushed me to write the story because she loved the plot and told me if done right, it would have ‘a profound effect’. That’s what I’m aiming for there. I don’t promise happiness in their near future but more heartache and pain that needs to be overcome so both characters can heal. The story deals with very, very sensitive material and much of that material has YET to even be written. I cross my fingers that the readers will understand when it does come time for me to write it out. Up All Night is not meant to offend but maybe give a better understanding to a different type of pain, grieving, loss and finally recovery that many have not and would not chance writing about.

‘Corruption of Destruction’ is the collaboration fic between VSPS and I. VSPS and I have sworn ourselves to secrecy about what this fic really is and how it will end up. The plot is most certainly Jasper and Bella. It will stay that way and end up that way in the end. It is dark, angst and downright evil at times. I have never thought about or tried to write something as dark as Corruption of Destruction is. Even the name we came up with screamed death and pain. I know the readers will enjoy what we have planned for the story. It is plotted and ready to be written but our RL’s outside of the fandom right now is very busy and demanding so we write when we can.

‘The French Trilogy’ (Devine, Respirer, Amour) was my baby, figuratively of course. It started out as just one story, a J/B version of Twilight before I was washing dishes one random day and suddenly had a happy slap thought of what it could turn into. I always wondered why no one ever caught on to why Jasper didn’t talk more about the ’bonds of mates’ in Devine, it was because I hadn’t ever thought about it. When I decided to bring Emmett into the story during Respirer, I knew the readers were gonna’ flame and hate - boy did some ever- but I did it regardless because the story was mine and it was original compared to the usual of what was being put out. That simple fact drew most of the Jasper/Bella readers to stay and read on, especially after I tweaked the plot and promised Jasper was coming back for good, it was just gonna’ take time.

Okay, that was a bit more than ’a little’ but still. I hope that explains some things about my stories. I’m a very angsty writer, I will never deny that it is what I am able to write best because I have dealt with a lot of it. I’ve tried writing humorous stuff, turned out to be utter shit. I tried writing romantically driven chapters, turned out gooey and gross. I write heart ache and angst. I take my characters, break them down to points of no return -even I have cried several times while writing them- and then finally, after it all, I give them what they deserve. If someone is lucky enough to find ever lasting love, they deserve to be put through hell to keep it. That’s how I look at my stories. I’m known - and have been told several times- that I take Jasper’s mind and fuck around with it. I do, for the simple fact that it makes thing a bit more interesting. The same thing again and again in a story gets boring and repetitive. I won’t do what you expect. I don’t follow with everyone else. I want the ‘holy shit that was awesome’ response or the ‘I hate you right now for making them do that’. Either way, I’m getting a reaction from my readers and that’s what keeps me writing. < CareMarie: Speaking of AH stories… now that you’ve started writing your own, how do you like it?
Duskri123: Ah, I love the AH universe that I’ve created for my characters. It is great. When I wrote UAN’s first sex scene, or the drug use and the hangovers, when I pounded into that very first chapter I really realized how much AU stories with ‘vamps only’ were missing. You lose all the human qualities that are so fun to write about. Human sex is sweaty, messy, and hot, literally and fugitively. I can write a human mind so much more differently than a vampire’s mind when you don‘t need to focus on bloodlust, hunting and sparkling in the sun. I want my AH story to be HUMAN. I want the human emotions and every day occurrences. They piss, cry, sweat, eat, puke and sleep. When they drink too much, they get sick, piss them self and pass out on a dirty bathroom floor. When they have sex in a car (71’ Dodge Challenger LOL) it’s awkward but flippin’ hot and perfect in it’s own gritty way. I just wanted it to be very human, and I remind myself of that fact whenever I write out a chapter. I’ll go back through and make sure I’ve got enough humanized points shoved in there.

CareMarie: Why do you pick the pairings that you do?
Duskri123: Honestly, I picked Jasper and Bella because I loved what I had read already. He had such a hard past, brutal and evil but he had STRENGTH and I wanted to write more about it. Bella needed an attitude change and a backbone so I gave it to her.

When I chose to write the Emmett and Bella pairings, that was more difficult. I loved his character and I wanted him to have depth, so much depth and personality that people could almost feel it and wanted to write about it themselves. It is very out of the box when I do write him. I take the brother bear and turn him into a lover, fighter and a forever.

CareMarie: Do you have a favorite point of view to write in?
Duskri123: I ADORE writing Jasper’s POV for any and all of my stories. Give me his mind to play with, tweak to be conniving, passionate or terrified and I am in my glory. He gives me so many different options to play with and it never gets old for me.

CareMarie: Was there a part in the Twilight Saga that inspired you?
Duskri123: No, not any more. At first, maybe but now that I’ve done my own fics and read so many truly terrific and original fics, SM’s version (and I’m sorry to say this in a way) just can not measure up to what others can put out. Her controlling and locked in a centuries past Edward mixed with spineless and weakened Bella are just whipped off my radar for good. I don’t even open up the books to check for corrections for relativity in my stories anymore. But I thank the woman greatly for giving me such an awesome story to build on and for pushing me in a direction that gave me a hobby where I have made great friends and met some truly awesome people.

CareMarie: What turns you on to Non-canon stories?
Duskri123: I truly hate the Edward and Bella SM created now, after reading and writing some of the things I have. I will read Edward and Bella fics if they are AH, teenaged, hormone fuelled type stories ha ha. Also, the other characters give me much more opportunities for better stories and plot lines than the regular Bella and Edward things.

CareMarie: How did you decide to post your stories?
Duskri123: I’m not sure. When I first started posting, there wasn’t any one I really talked to on FF. I think I had nearly the whole story written out before I finally posted it. I wrote a couple more, and then took a year off before continuing to write again. I think I really started posting because I wanted to know what people would think of my ideas. For the most part I received good responses and that made me work a little harder. All of my first stories (and even Devine, though it is in the process of being edited) are very raw, unedited, and they need some serious work before they will ever go back up.

CareMarie: Have you ever changed your story outline based off of a review? If so, what was the review and what did you change?
Duskri123: I am ashamed to admit this, but yes I did, once. At the end of Devine, I had such a negative response for what I planned to do with the sequel. Originally, it really would have seemed like Jasper was dead in Respirer. There would have been no side snippets from his POV until the very ending chapter when everyone finally found out the truth of what happened in Volterra and came back. Everything really remained the same in the story except I added in the Jasper POV’s to prove that he was still there.

To be truthful, I regret doing that. I wish I had kept it as it was despite what the readers wanted. Either way, because I brought Emmett into the story and into Bella’s heart, I lost a lot of readers for that choice. Which is fine to me, closed minds like one thing regardless, but for the ones who stayed for the entire thing were impressed and happy with the outcome. I opened up some minds to different choices in their own writing and it made me happy to know that.

CareMarie: Do any of your characters in your story remind you of yourself?
Duskri123: Ha! Yes. Fml. Okay. The Bella character development in Devine, to Respirer to Amour was all me. A lot of readers hated the way I wrote her character to be selfish, immature at times and down right ignorant and angry. Yeah that right there was all me in my teenage years too. Unfortunately no one could seem to read past why she was that way. Abandonment and feelings of being unworthy make teenagers do horrendous things to those who say they love them. You want proof of just how much someone does and how they are willing to prove it. I didn’t delve into the characterization to deep with Bella until around her change when Jasper finally understood his mate completely. But I did mirror her personality close to mine during my teenage years. As she grew in the stories, so did I reflectively in my years.

Another one would be the Jasper in Someday reflects me in some ways as well. I am the type who wants to know everything that goes on around me so if something happens, I react accordingly. The brutally honest to an ignorantly harsh point, yeah that’s me in my RL too. But that is as far as that goes there.

CareMarie: Are there any compliments or reviews on any of your stories that stick in your mind?
Duskri123: Hmm, yeah. Let me look for a minute so I know the round about of what I want to put here for that.

VSPS once told me I ‘have a way with words that make you fucking eloquent and that’s why I love you’.

Someday has been compared to CwmK in mystery and intrigue in some of the reviews. I may have screamed loudly and bounced in my chair before getting on AOL to tell V because I have such a high respect for Oracle Vas and the things she writes. To have readers put me up in her category makes me smile so hard. It makes me proud.

My chapters have been called devastatingly heartbreaking, gut wrenching, and angst filled. The reviewers who let me know that I have that kind of affect or they had such a strong response to my writing tends to have its own effect and I remember those reviewers. I have been told when I write the emotions in the stories, its almost as if the reader is feeling what my characters are feeling and that makes the stories so much better, even if they sobbed through the chapter. I thank them so much for those compliments again and again. They have no idea how much it means to me.

I’ve also received a lot of constructive criticism regarding my writing styles, grammar, verb tenses, ect with my older stories, Devine and alike. I appreciate those greatly as well and I am so thankful for my awesome, well loved beta (I have just recently started working with her since starting Someday), TheFaintHeart for all she does for me and my stories. She makes my stuff pretty and keeps me on track if I lose focus. She’s so much more than just my beta and she is always there to listen to me bitch, hear my plot summary and give me her honest opinion on things, even if I won’t like what I hear.

CareMarie: Are there any more stories in your midst or rolling about in your head?
Duskri123: Hmm, dare I say again?

Possibly. There is one story that is another collaboration fic between Becky03 and I that will be started (it is already plotted and ready for writing) once at least TWO of my other stories are completely finished. It is a Peter and Bella fic (not the norm Peter either. He is not gifted in the way you would expect. He is not all-knowing but something different), called Give Me Retribution. I think the readers will like it.

I plan on doing at least ONE more AH fic. I’ve been debating the character pairing for a while and tinkering around with some plots but nothing is concrete in that regard.

Hopefully, expect at least one more Emmett and Bella to come from my mind. I love that pairing and he is by far one of the easiest but hardest for me to keep consistent. I love that challenge.

As for Jasper and Bella… maybe, maybe not. My ideas come and go. I like to check and see what’s going on in the fandom and if there are too many that are similar to my idea, I toss it. I love the J/B but it’s become almost canon to us all.

CareMarie: What do you want to see in the fandom? Changes? Expectations?
Duskri123: Ha. Well… give me a second to think. I want originality. And fuck yeah that’s hard when you’ve got a couple hundred thousand stories floating around with the same characters doing the same things again and again. Still I want different. When a new writer does their first fic and it’s an Emmett and Bella (yeah I know it’s become a bit norm too, but I love that they take on that challenge) pairing or a Carlisle and Rose, my hands clap and I give them praise for that, even if it isn’t the best work because lord knows we all make mistakes and were once new writers as well, still they did something a little bit different. Give me more wolf fics with someone other than Jacob. Write Carlisle as a human drinker but make it heart breakingly truthful and give reasons why he does it but make it BELIEVABLE. Expectations? I expect a hell of a lot more awesome writers pushing out awesome stories that give inspiration to newer fans and writers for their own stories. The fandom is a great place to be and meet people. I’m happy I made my way over here slowly. ;)