"Terms of Engagement" by SnarkySimaril

Alright, admittedly, this fic barely squeaks in under the requirements for adVocation, but it's too awesome not to share. And it's awesomeness, coupled with the fact that the review count is still below 500, qualifies it as under-appreciated.

If you're a fan of Snarky-Bella, Peter-yumminess, and Edward-bashing, then this is the fic for you. It's a whole lot of fun, wrapped up in one neat little package.

Terms of Engagement is a joint venture of Snarkymuch and Simaril, under the collaboration account of SnarkySimaril. These two ladies together equal pure fucking genius.

The story begins following much the same sequence as Stephanie Meyer's Twilight. Bella arrives at Fork's High and Edward is instantly entranced by the enigma that is Bella Swan. This is where the detour begins.

First of all, chapter one is entirely from Jasper's point of view, which puts a humorous spin on things. Jasper seems to revel in Edward's failed attempts to gain Bella's attention. Even Edward's 'heroic' life-saving stunt doesn't seem to sway Bella's opinion of the awkward vampire. Soon the Cullens begin to worry about Edward as it seems he has reached a new level of depravity where Bella is concerned. Jasper receives a phone call from Peter and after filling Peter in on the debauchery that's afoot, he can't resist a trip to Forks to witness it for himself.


Meanwhile, Bella's thinking there must be something in the Fork's water, because everyone in town seems a little bit off their rocker. The 'stay the fuck away from me' glare that used to work so well in Phoenix seems to have no effect on the people of Forks. They're all over Bella like flies on shit, and there's no where she can go to escape them. Hoping, in vain, that First Beach will provide a needed reprieve, she runs into an eager Jacob. Unable to dodge him, Jacob flies into his 'scary story' with descriptions of the Cold Ones and the Quileute wolves. As much as Bella tries to tune him out, she can't help but put two and two together. She discovers the Cullens are vampires, and strangely, that thought doesn't seem too scary.

Enter Peter stage left. Bella and Peter's first conversation didn't go so well considering the main topic of discussion was feminine products (See what I mean? You really need to read this).

In fact, why don't you go do that right now.

Rated VVM18+ - Peter&Bella - WIP

Summary: Love sometimes hides, stuck behind cold hearts and lost dreams. But when it's found and recognized, there no going back. Peter found it, but keeping it is another thing entirely. Peter/Bella AU
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