Tuesday, January 25, 2011

V Inquisition — Bella from peters.kitten's "My Dying Wish"

Yay! Here is our first Inquisition with Bella and the loVely Peters.kitten, author of My Dying Wish!
That's right folks, the cherry has been popped!

Interview With A Crazy Human

Bella walks into the room trailed closely by Peters.kitten. The latter of the two looks warily at me, and understandably so. I have questions, and I'm not going to leave until I get... *takes off sunglasses for effect* to the bottom of it.

*Looks around* Can someone cue the music?
**Theme music to CSI Miami starts playing...**


Arianna-Janae: Alright. Some of these questions may be difficult to answer. Just do the best you can. First off...favorite color? *clicks record button on the tape recorder*
Bella: Purple.
Peters.kitten: Um...is there something you forgot to tell me?
Bella: It's the color of the smoke that will be roiling toward the heavens after I rip apart Victoria and feed her piece by piece into the flames. After I incinerate James, of course. Oh, and Laurent, mustn't forget him. *licks lips and smiles dementedly*
Peters.kitten: Alrighty then....moving on. Next question, please.

Arianna-Janae:Eric or Bill?
Bella: Definitely Eric. Vikings are sexy. Plus he's blond-haired and blue-eyed. *raises hand*
Peters.kitten: Put your hand down bitch, you look like one of the slow students at school.
Bella: But I wanna change my answer. My favorite color is now blue.
Peters.kitten: *sighs* Subtle Bella. Real subtle.
Bella: *raises hand*
Peters.kitten: What did I tell you about that?
Bella: Bill is a total bastard. I also suspect he might be gay.
Peters.kitten: Surprisingly, I agree on both counts.
Bella: They should make a new Kill Bill using Bill Compton. I would sooo buy that! They could call it Kill Bill: Dead Edition. Although they would have to film most of the scenes at night......except for the ending, of course.*chuckles evilly*
Peters.kitten:This is the fourth vampire that you've mentioned killing today. Should I be concerned?
Bella: I'm going on a vampire hunt, and don't think I don't know how to weeed 'em out!
Peters.kitten: *shakes head* No more SpongeBob for you.

Arianna-Janae: Number one quality you look for in the opposite sex?...Vampirism? (Sorry, I'm just going by your track record here.)
Bella: Well, you know what they say: Once you go vamp, nothing else can get you damp.
Peters.kitten: You dirty little whore.
Bella: Damn straight.


Arianna-Janae:Why choose to talk to Jasper out of all the Cullens?
Bella: Jasper rocks! Not to mention that he's going to be family soon.
Peters.kitten: Not if I tell Peter what you said about Eric...
Bella: I will cut you bitch!

Arianna-Janae: Tell the truth, it's the accent isn't it?
Bella: Dammit, she's on to us.
Peters.kitten: Run, damn you, run!

Arianna-Janae: When you say "we will eventually be family", do you mean a Cullen or a Whitlock?
Bella: Me, a Cullen? Bite your tongue, woman!
Peters.kitten: For once, I am in total agreement. Dirtier words have never been spoken.

Arianna-Janae: Hey, it might have happened if not for a paper cut. Speaking of Jasper. Did he introduce you to Peter? Is this why you still talk to Jasper?
Bella: Peter introduced me to Peter. Now if only Peter would introduce me to his peter......
Peters.kitten: Why you dirty little whore. Although, I do agree that you need to get laid. Abstinence is very unhealthy. Just look at Edward.
Bella: No arguments here.

Arianna-Janae: OK, I'll bite.*snickers to herself* How did you meet Peter? Inter-species dating site?
Bella: He came to me in a dream. Guess you could say he was my dream date *chuckles*
Peters.kitten: That was a little corny, even for you.
Bella: Your just jealous of my mad skills.

Arianna-Janae: Were you once a vampire? If so, who turned you?
Bella: Dude, I think she totally sampled our stash.
Peters.kitten:I hope she didn't get the shrooms.

Arianna-Janae:You mean you don't see the purple elephant in the corner?
Bella: You mean Dumbo? He's cool.
Peters.kitten: WTF???

Arianna-Janae:Did you ever meet the Volturi?
Bella: Do I look dead to you? This chick is delusional.
Peters.kitten: Must be the 'shrooms.
Bella: How many are missing?
Peters.kitten: The whole damn bag!
Bella: I didn't mean to give you mushrooms girl. I didn't mean to bring you to my world. Now you sittin' in the corner crying and it's my fault. My fault.

Arianna-Janae:*Awkwardly attempts to cover her "I <3 Caius T shirt"* So why are you the only one who remembers "the past"? After all vampires are supposed to have impecible memories, even better than elephants. *looks at the elephant in the corner apologetically*
Bella: Elephants, smellephants. Who needs elephants when you have airplanes?
Peters.kitten: Really, Bella? Airplanes?
Bella:Yep. B.O.B. would be so jealous. I totally needed it more than he did, though.

Arianna-Janae:Don't think I missed the fact that you didn't answer my question. What Airplanes? Never mind. Wait. What were we talking about? *glances at her notes*
The scars? How do you still bare the scars from James and Victoria?
Bella: Because the vampire venom altered me on a cellular level. It changed me irrevocably so when I came back, they came with me.
Peters.kitten: That actually made sense.....are you feeling alright?
Bella: Sorry, what I meant to say was that the scars make me look tough.
Peters.kitten: That's more like it.

Arianna-Janae: Explain the phrase "when I came back", cause that's what we're all wondering here.
Bella: Can you keep a secret?
Peters.kitten: Don't do it, Bella!
Bella: Come closer.
Peters.kitten: Bella.....
Bella: *whispers* I see dead people!
Peters.kitten: *sighs in relief*
Bella: I also came back from the future!
Peters.kitten: Where'd I put my knife, cuz I'm fixin to cut a bitch!

Arianna-Janae:*Glances outside the window to look for a DeLorian* How is your relationship with Renee? She's not mentioned much, just wondering.
Bella: Renee is still Renee. I still love her and call her often. Speaking of.....why isn't she mentioned often? Hmm? Answer me that one.
Peters.kitten: Don't get your panties in a bunch. If I wrote about every little thing you did, Peter would never make it into the story.

Arianna-Janae:In the last chapter, you mentioned a "different reality"? Are you secretly Dr. Who?
Bella: Who is Dr. Who again?
Peters.kitten: It's a television show that ran from 1963 to 1989.
Bella: *snickers* How old are you again, Autumn?
Peters.kitten: She said it, not me.

Arianna-Janae:I'm not *that* old. I like the BBC, so sue me! Phone booths aside, I'm not sure how this "different reality" works exactly. Are there worm-holes you jump through? Where does one reality end and the other begin?
Bella: Can I, can I, can I? I wanna jump through a worm hole. Pretty pllleassseee????
Peters.kitten: I don't remember you saying 'different reality'. I remember you saying that you needed to let go of the past since it had never actually happened in this reality.
Bella: Yeah, but if there are worm-holes then I sooo want to go to a different reality.
Peters.kitten: Gah, it's like having a two year old.

Arianna-Janae: Now, what we are all dying to know. Was your dying wish to have a second chance? A do-over, if you will?
Peters.kitten: Don't answer. Plead the fifth.
Bella: Exactly. See, I told you B.O.B. would be jealous.
Peters.kitten: *throws up hands* What am I even here for?

*an audible click sounds from the tape recorder*
Arianna-Janae: Damn! Well I guess that's all the time we have. Thank you for your uh...cooperation.

Have more questions? Thoroughly intrigued?
Head on over and check out My Dying Wish.


4 comments:

  1. Kit (peters.kitten)January 25, 2011 at 2:57 AM

    *Bows down to the awesomeness that is Autumn* This totally rocks! It was a-fucking-mazing! I absolutely loved it :) So.....is my client free to go???

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  2. Thank you thank you thank you! You do realize that you were a *BIG* part of this interview, right? Like 75% of it. Silly kit, you're awesome!
    And yes, Bella is free to go, 'cause dammit, we need more chapters!
    *cracks the whip* Back to Work!!!

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  3. Thank you thank you thank you to the three of you *snickers*!!! I admit this story had me totally confused, befuddled, and entranced from the beginning! Of course, I always want Bella to end up with Peter (or Jasper)...I love non-canon like that. Can't wait to read more of this site and, of course, My Dying Wish...it's great!

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  4. simply amazing XD i love bella's crazy ass lol. just makes me want to read the story even more. so update soon!!!!!

    ~Bripearl

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